Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Expendables 2


The movie this week was The Expendables 2, sequel to arguably the most mindless movie of 2010. And one of my favourite movies of 2010. Those facts are closely related. Evan laid the smack down in preview game. We tied on Argo, but he got all the other ones, including Dredd and one more that I can't remember. I'm also pretty sure there was one that neither of us got, but it was two whole days ago, and I can't remember back that far (a few too many soccer balls to the head last night, evidently).

The movie opens with a pretty long cold open, so that was pretty awesome. I like action at the beginning, because it gets you hooked right away. Say what you want about Die Hard, but it starts off very slow. This one, not so much. Far more action right at the beginning than the previous instalment. And the action is even more over the top. Within 30 seconds, I was giggling at the ludicrousness of it. Not that that's a bad thing, frankly. I love it when action movies just get laughably ridiculous.

Then the movie slows down for a while as the team gets sent on a mission, which goes wrong and one of the members dies! So revenge is one of the goals of the team. Against the villain, played with hamful charm by Jean Claude Van Damme himself. Apparently, missing out on the first one was a regret of his, so when they asked him back for the second, he jumped at the chance.

Other actors show up too, but you've probably heard about them. Ahnold and Bruce Willis play larger roles this time, and Chuck Norris shows up for a bit. He even gets to spout a Chuck Norris fact. Mind you, this movie is pretty self-referential (and self-deprecating) at times. When Arnold mounts an unexpected rescue, he pops out and says "I'm back!" During another fight, he and Bruce are together but run out of ammo. Arnold quips "I'll be back" but Bruce responds with "You've been back enough. this time, I'll be back." And so Arnold says "Yippee Ki-yay" but leaves off the MF bomb.

I liked this movie. That was pretty much a given. In fact, I could tell beforehand that I would like this movie a lot. And I did. There are only a few quibbles. First is the aforementioned slowing down. The first movie did that too, and I wasn't a fan then, either. You're an action franchise. There should be action every ten minutes. Other than that, I didn't like how little Jet Li was in this movie. He was in the opening, and then literally dropped out. I wanted to see him kick more people in places they need to be kicked. Sadly, it wasn't to be.

But besides those few nitpicks, this was an awesome movie. The music was good, the self-awareness was good, the humour was good, the action was awesome, the amount of action stars they stuffed in there was awesome. So it's definitely a theatre movie. You should go see it, unless you hate action or nostalgia.

And with that, we come to a fitting end to the Mindless Movie Marathon. For over two years, Evan and I have been going to see every movie we could, with a few exceptions. However, lives must move forward, or in Evan's case, Westward, and so The Expendables 2 was the last official movie that the Mindless Movie Marathon went to see. I'm sure that we'll watch many, many movies whenever we visit each other, and may even write about them on this very blog. But this will be the last official post. Anything afterwards will be something of a postscript, zombie column (back from the dead, you see).

I'd like to take a moment to thank you, dear readers, for taking so much of your time with what I've written. If you've had half as much fun reading as I've had ... watching the movies that preceded writing these columns, then I've done my job. Also, thanks to the many people that came with us to movies. You've been a tremendous amount of fun. And thank you to their significant others, for letting us drag them to movies, instead of spending time with you. Lastly, thanks Evan. It's been a blast going to so many movies, and while half the fun was going to the movies, the other half was going with you. I wish you good luck and God Speed on your journeys. 

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The Bourne Legacy


This week, we brought Norm along with us to watch The Bourne Legacy. I won the preview game, although we were both wrong about what the first trailer would be. I guessed Dredd (coming soon) and Evan guessed TheExpendables II, but it turned out to be Alex Cross. I might see it, but I want to know more about it first. It seems kind of disturbing. We also had Trouble with the Curve (it's like the anti-Moneyball, where Clint Eastwood plays a baseball scout whose instincts are better than what a computer could tell you), This is 40, Skyfall, and Les Misérables (if it's a French play, why are the songs in English?)

The movie opens with the standard Jason Bourne tune, but it's probably only recognizable to people who pay attention to music in movies. Anyway, aside from that, several plots get kicked off. Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) hikes from one place in Alaska to another. We get that interspersed with a project crashing down around the ears of the CIA, and Eric Byer (Edward Norton) having to fix it. Well, technically, he only goes to meetings where they decide how to fix it. And if it's not those two scenes, the camera's probably somewhere in Marta Shearing's (Rachel Weisz) workplace, a high-security medical lab.

Eventually, the three plotlines intertwine. Marta's workplace genetically engineered improvements to the human system, tested on people like Aaron. Jason Bourne getting loose scared the people in charge, who dropped it on Eric's lap, who decides to shut it down, which meant killing most of everyone involved. This would make Eric the nominal bad guy, but I was actually somewhat sympathetic. Not all the killing, mind you, but the having to clean up other people's problems. Maybe it's also that Edward Norton is an incredible actor. But mostly it's a flashback where he describes his and Aaron's jobs. wherein they cross the line and forfeit their morals, so that everyone else can keep theirs. Monsters, yes. But vitally necessary.

Speaking of acting, it takes a while for the action to start. Normally, this is a fairly large problem for me, but in this case we got to play one of my new favourite games: Watch Jeremy Renner Act. I like this game; I could play a lot more, truth be told. It helps that everyone else gets into the game as well. After the Mummy movies, I forgot that Rachel Weisz is a fantastic actor as well, and watching the two of them together was way awesome.

Then the action kicks in, and it is 18 different kinds of incredible. Man, the director sure knows what he's doing. There aren't too many action scenes, but the climax lasts for pretty much the last third of the movie, broken only by a few minutes of recovery. Then it goes back into high gear. That is how you do an action film.

A couple notes. Don't trust the trailer. A lot of lines from the trailer don't refer to who or what is actually implied. Conversations in the trailer might not take place between the people shown. That type of thing. Still, it means they can sneak a couple of surprises in, so that was cool.

The end seems kind of abrupt. I was expecting it to go for a while, but then Extreme Days cut in, and I was like "Wait, they're ending it now? No ..." And then they did. It seems abrupt because there's not a whole lot of the closure I was looking for, but I guess that leaves it wide open for a sequel. Mind you, that's probably what the filmmakers were going for, because I am all in on any sequel they make.

It's a theatre movie for me. The lack of action is made up for by the set up and acting. After that, when the movie isn't staging an action scene, it's filled with tension. I may not have sat at the edge of my seat, but I could have, easily. Well, until the action blew me away.

One last note about the critics. A lot of them say that Jason Bourne, while not involved in this movie (Matt Damon's picture shows up, but that's about it), has his impact felt throughout. And that's not really true. He's more of the spark that sets the whole thing off, but they could have chosen any other thing, and the plot would have been pretty much the same. So don't believe the critics. Mind you, they tabbed this movie as around 55% on Rotten Tomatoes, so you know they're wrong.

Monday, August 13, 2012

The Dark Knight Rises...Evan's Take


I realize that it has been over a week since we went to see "The Dark Knight Rises" (TDKR for those in the know)...and we have already been to see "Total Recall"...but I thought that I would put up my review of TDKR because I was probably looking forward to this movie more than any other from this past year. So, for the amount of time that I spent anticipating this movie, I feel that I need to tell you if it was worth the wait.

(As a quick aside...Total Recall was fine. Benjy really liked it. I was kinda ambivalent towards it. Some decent action coupled with glaring plot holes and "competent" acting made for an entertaining but not earth splitting couple of hours...ok...back to TDKR!)

I love Christopher Nolan!

I mean that in the sense that I think this guy is the best filmmaker making movies today. I thoroughly enjoyed the first two Batman movies, so much so that I went to see "The Dark Knight" in theaters FOUR times! I also went and watched other Christopher Nolan works such as "The Prestige" and "Memento" which are fantastic movies but ones that I missed during their run in theaters. If you add in the stylish mind bending action blockbuster "Inception" from a couple of years ago, you begin to realize that this guy just makes great movies. I am at the point that wherever Christopher Nolan wants to take me, I will eagerly follow and enjoy the ride. I already have next summer's "Man of Steel" circled as a must watch...and he is only a writer for it!

I will take the same approach as Benjy did to writing a review and make sure not to spoil a single thing. So...I can't tell you anything about the characters, or the plot, or who might (or might not) die. I can say that the acting is excellent, the visuals are stunning, the music is stirring, the story is great and you certainly will not be disappointed...Even at a run time of 2 hours and 40 minutes. I have told everyone that this movie is a perfect way to wrap up the Christopher Nolan "Batman" trilogy and the only thing I am unhappy about is that I wont get to see more of this franchise in the future.

I'm going to give this movie 5 bat signals out of 5. If you have not seen TDKR, make sure you get to a cinema before it finishes its theater run! Then buy it on DVD when it comes out so you can appreciate it forever and ever (or at least tide you over until Christopher Nolan gets behind the lens for another motion picture).

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Total Recall


This week's docket held the remake of Total Recall. I won the preview game, thanks to a wild guess on the first trailer: Paranormal Activity 4. Both of us are getting sick of 'found footage' movies, but they have low budgets, so they're not going away any time soon. Me, I'm going to make a 'found footage' video game and be a millionaire. The second trailer was Argo, which I got. We tied on Django Unchained, and Evan got Skyfall a split second before I did.

Total Recall is ironic on several levels. Okay, two. It's ironic on two levels. First, it's produced by Original Film. And second, because I'm totally recalling a movie I saw 22 years ago. Action movie, starred Schwarzenegger, dealt with identities: Kindergarten Cop! Nah, I'm kidding, it's the original Total Recall. And I didn't see it 22 years ago, although I'm pretty sure I saw it at a younger age than I should have (sorry Mom).

We look back at the first one now and think "Oh yeah, Sharon Stone!" But keep in mind, it was released two years before she got famous by flashing everyone in Basic Instinct. The remake has Kate Beckinsale in the Wife role, and Jessica Biel in the Love Interest role. And yeah, if I was going to implant memories in my head, they would definitely be involved.

And in case you really want to know, the three-breasted hooker shows up, very briefly. For my money, the scene from the original I most wanted in the new one was where Quaid pulls that huge tracking device out of his brain via his nose. Alas, in this one he only pulls some stringy electronics out of his hand, so it doesn't have quite the same effect.

In this one, there's no Mars. Instead, it's most of the world that's uninhabitable, because there's a whole bunch of poison gases around. Most people live in the gas-free lands of Great Britain or Australia, which divides neatly into the haves and have-nots and gives the movie unexpected social gravity. Promptly forgotten gravity, mind you, but gravity none-the-less. The remake makes up for a lack of Mars by giving us the perfect setting for the next Fallout game. Seriously, Bethesda or Obsidian need to get on that. I would play the hell out of Fallout: London.

Anyway, the movie starts off with a short action scene. It's filled with flashing lights and shaky-cam, so I'm not sure how much it actually counts as an action scene. Then it spends a bit of time setting up the plot, before kicking off several chase scenes. It really only slows down to explain the plot, and then picks back up into more action scenes. Finally, there's a short post-climax action scene, which I'm not a fan of. Movie Makers, you shouldn't use your dénouement for action. You should use all the action in the climax, making it better, not spreading it around afterwards.

There wasn't a whole lot of humour. I think "I give good wife" is supposed to be some sort of dirty allusion, but I didn't really get it. But the music was surprisingly good, so that made up for the humour. I might have to 'acquire' that score somehow. Based on that and the amount of action, I'm going to give this movie a Theatre rating. However, I should warn you again that I like crap a lot more than you guys. Even re-used crap. Hey, at least in a wasted world like the future, they're still thinking about recycling.

One last note that bugged me. Both movies try to be at least somewhat ambiguous about whether the events after Rekall are actually real or just a dream. But I don't remember Rekall having the ability to implant dreams, just memories. You wouldn't be lost in the present, just have fake memories of the past. For instance, instead of having worked last week, I could have vacationed in Aruba, or competed in the Olympics, or protested against environmental destruction. That way I could feel good about saving the environment without having to, you know, save the environment. But the point is, how can Quaid think he's dreaming if the only things implanted were memories?

Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Dark Knight Rises


Due to completely foreseen circumstances, we had to wait a week to see The Dark Knight Rises. Not that it mattered much to the people in the theatre. It was as packed as a week ago (you know, presuming that I know the population of things like that off the top of my head, without having been there or anything).

This is going to be a tough review to write, because I don't want to spoil anything. I can't write about any allies, or any villains, or any internet theories, or anything. I can't talk about why I liked it better than The Dark Knight. I can't even talk about what the critics said, because rebutting them would potentially spoil the movie. So instead, I'm going to talk about music.

I liked the music. It's pretty good. Some critics say it's too percussive, but what do you expect? Hans Zimmer did the score. My only gripe with the music is that it doesn't really have an instantly recognizable theme. Not like Pirates of the Caribbean, or Indiana Jones, or James Bond. For a trilogy this epic, I think there should have been an overriding musical theme to it. I'd nominate this tune, but it's already taken. So instead, I vote for the following.



So this is definitely a theatre movie, because it's really good, but I can't tell you why. Yet. And the music's good (wow, there are so many things I can't talk about I feel like I'm in the CIA. Should I go back and add in a whole bunch of redacted to it? Nah).