I saw GI Joe: Retaliation this Good Friday, because nothing
says Solemn Religious Occasion like an action-fest. I went with a group of
friends, so it was me, Steve, Rich, Jay and Brian. We went to the best theatre
in town (probably). It's a little more expensive, but it huge, and loud, and
you can reserve seats ahead of time, and we got in for free because I have a
SCENE card and it's awesome.
Anyway, previews were for The Fast and the Furious 6 (Aww
Yeah!), Star Trek: Into Darkness (Aww Yeah!), Iron Man 3 (which Steve and I tied
on, and also Aww Yeah!) and World War Z, which I lost to some guy in the row
behind me and a few seats over. Well played, sir. Well played.
The movie had four company screens, but the last one was for
Hasbro, which I'm sure brought a lot of smiles to faces in the theatres. They
can go on making movies, as far as I'm concerned, and I will happily pay money
for whatever blockbusters they put out.
The movie opens in the North Korean DMZ, with our heroes
starting a mission to retrieve a prisoner. So they cut the chain link fence,
create a diversion and extract the prisoner, who's conveniently jailed a mere
20 meters from the border. I don't think North
Korea is inept enough to put anything in the
DMZ except for watch towers, let alone prison cells within spitting distance of
South Korea , but
whatever. Anyway, one of the Joes goes a little independent and raises the Joe
flag on the NK flag pole, but no harm came from it, and it was all in good fun
and no one got hurt.
Next, we get to see Duke (Channing Tatum) and Roadblock
(Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson) bonding, and it's hilarious. I know 21 Jump Street proved Tatum had comedic chops, but
it's always nice when he adds in a little extra humour.
From there, the Joes get sent to Pakistan
to secure some nuclear weapons, and the plot kicks off. I won't spoil it for
you, even though it barely matters, because GI JOE! Whoo! Explosions! Guns!
Martial Arts! Fights while rappelling down the side of a mountain! That
sequence was actually fairly lengthly, and also awesome. More movies need to do
that. Sword fighting while running along the sides of cliffs? Yes please!
Besides that, the rest of the action scenes were pretty good
as well. I didn't mind the short cuts and chaotic action as much as I usually
do. Maybe I'm willing to cut GI Joe a bit more slack, or maybe I'm just getting
used to it, but they were all awesome. Ridiculous, but awesome.
My only quibbles with this movie are small. There are accusations
that the movie was delayed so that more Channing Tatum could be written in.
Turns out, those accusations are unfounded, so the only reason to delay it for
9 months was to put in the 3D. And while most of the 3D was good, there were
some curious camera placements choices. We had an over the shoulder shot of one
guy speaking, except the blurry shoulder was still in the shot. Normally this
isn't a problem, except it was in 3D, so the blurry shoulder jumped out at us.
That's just poor cinematography, and I know my cinematography, having studied
it not at all.
Also, the music was merely alright. Some of it was pretty
good, and some of it wasn't. All in all, it balanced out to okay, but I want
more than okay in my bombastic soundtracks. I want epic themes of heroism and
saving the world from global catastrophe.
But those niggling problems aside, this movie is fantastic.
Don't get me wrong, you'll need to turn your brain off before you get inside.
But once you do, prepare for the awesome! It's a theatre movie for me, and
probably the best movie I've seen this year (not that that helps much).
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