Men in Black III+

The plus in the title is not that we went to see more than one Men in Black (although you can bet that someone, somewhere, is writing a Men in Black IV). But it's to say that I went to more than just MIBIII this week. Anyway, Evan nearly swept the trailer game (although I called The Expendables II as the first trailer) with the aforementioned, Spiderman, and Total Recall. I only got The Great Gatsby. Which is being released in 3D. Sure, people say it adds a touch of surrealism to an adaptation of a book with surrealistic elements, but come on. If anyone is wondering about the unnecessariness of 3D, wonder no longer. It's totally unnecessary here. On a scale of one to ten, with one being absolutely pivotal and ten being totally unnecessary, the 3D in The Great Gatsby is a solid 15. In fact, from now on, unnecessariness will now be measured on a scale of one to The Great Gatsby in 3D. Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Men in Black III opens with a cake, held by a woman. The cake jiggles. That's the kind of humour we're looking forward to? Whee. The cake is scanned, then walked by the woman to a jail cell in a very totalitarian-like prison. The cell belongs to that of Boris the Animal ("It's just Boris!") who uses the insect hiding in the cake to break out of prison. On the Moon!

Meanwhile, back on Earth, Agents J and K are having a conversation. Well, J is talking to K. K is ignoring him and being surly, which is his usual demeanour. And this movie is all about going back in time and finding out why K is so surly. Could it be that you pulled him away from his marriage for the second time? Nope. That's never even mentioned. In fact, there's a new romance thrown in back in 1969, just to further cloud the issue. Does no one writing this remember what happened 15 years ago? No? That's what I thought (sigh).

Time travel is involved, complete with all of its paradoxes that are glossed over or ignored entirely. Jokes are involved, most of which are pretty lame, and said with about as much effort as one would expect lame jokes to be told. It's like everyone in this movie just mailed it in. There are some good jokes ("Sir, you should meet the Viagrans. They have a revolutionary new pill!") but they are few and far between.

The movie does pick up a bit as it goes along, and it has a surprisingly emotional moment near the end that sort of explains K's surliness, but not all of it (and no, it's not Tommy Lee Jones realizing that despite being a far better actor than Will Smith, he'll never make Fresh Prince level money).

This movie is blah. That's about the best way to describe it. I'm not sure who it's supposed to appeal to. Teenagers without my level of sophistication? (oh wow, that got egotistical). I can't imagine I'd like this movie any more when I was 15. So I give a DVD rating, and that's probably on the generous side.

On the plus side, then next night was much more entertaining. Although Evan couldn't come, I went to see FUGLY, a play put on by The Janes, to which one of my friends belongs (what a clunky sentence structure. Never mind splitting infinitives, I may have murdered one). FUGLY had vastly better jokes than MIBIII, and the message was more on point in today's world.

FUGLY's about a women (Perdita) who's misplaced her mind. So she goes looking for it with the help of Echo and the various people she meets along the way. It was much trippier than I imagined when it was first described to me ("It'll be about womens body issues"). Sort like a cross between Alice in Wonderland and a particularly cutting Jenny Craig ad. I'd like to think I'm above such petty judgements based on looks, but then the play probably wouldn't have been so uncomfortable. So even though women will identify with the play a lot more, I know there are some things I need to keep in mind as well. No rating for the play, and I don't think you'll get the chance to see it, since the last showing is tonight. But hey, maybe you can pay them to put it on for you, since they're all struggling artists and all. You know, if you make Fresh Prince level money.