The End of Summer

Sorry about the lack of posts. It’s just that there’s not a lot to see. The summer movie season is ending “Not with a bang but a whimper” (And I promise you, that will be the first and last time T.S. Eliot is quoted in a blog about mindless movies … until the next time I quote him). Okay, there are some movies we could have seen, and wanted to see, but due to circumstances beyond our control, were unable to see. But the truth is there aren’t that many good movies out anymore. Or more specifically, there are good movies, just none that I want to see.

Let me explain: Studios tend to use the end of August and the beginning of September for two reasons. One is as a dumping grounds. Studios will release the movies that they think will do terribly commercially and critically, but are big enough they can’t just release them on DVD (for whatever reason. Maybe the stars are too big, maybe they wasted too much on marketing before they realised it sucked). Thus, we get movies like Resident Evil: Afterlife or Takers.

Secondly, studios start releasing movies they hope will win awards. Since most studios think people can’t remember more than a few months back, they’ll only give awards to movies they’ve seen recently. Thus, most Oscar hopefuls are released between September and January, when the date cuts off to fit into that years Oscars.

Either way, you won’t be seeing these movies in theatres. You might buy the good ones after they have “Oscar Nominated” stamped on the DVD case in March. I don’t know if you’ll actually watch it, or just give it to that pretentious friend of yours that has Anna Karenina on his or her bookshelf but hasn’t read it yet (fun activity: read the cliff notes on these kinds of books and then ask your pretentious friend about them).

Just for fun, I looked back at last years Oscars to see when the nominatees for best picture were released.

• The Hurt Locker (June)
• Avatar (December)
• The Blind Side (November)
• District 9 (August)
• An Education (October)
• Inglorious Basterds (August)
• Precious: Based on the yada yada yada (November)
• A Serious Man (October)
• Up (May)
• Up in the Air (December)

To be perfectly honest, I’ve only seen two of those movies (guess which ones), but that really shouldn’t surprise any of you, should it? What is surprising is that the winning movie (The Hurt Locker) was released before the middle of the year. Over the past 10 years, the winners have been:

• 2010: The Hurt Locker (June, 2009)
• 2009: Slumdog Millionaire (January, 2009)
• 2008: No Country for Old Men (November, 2007)
• 2007: The Departed (October, 2006)
• 2006: Crash (May, 2005)
• 2005: Million Dollar Baby (January, 2005)
• 2004: Return of the King (December, 2003)
• 2003: Chicago (December, 2002)
• 2002: A Beautiful Mind (December, 2001)
• 2001: Gladiator (May, 2000)

The Hurt Locker is the only real aberration. Crash was an underdog to Brokeback Mountain (December, 2005), and Gladiator was released as a blockbuster to take advantage of summer sales. Who knew the field would be so thin they’d nominate and crown a summer blockbuster with some really boring political intrigue? I mean, did you go for the plodding plot, or Russell Crowe going medieval on people and animals (something he should limit to movies, not real life)?

Anyway, the point is that if you want to make an Oscar Winner, your best bet is to release your movie sometime between September and January (December or January, preferably) and to stick “Million” somewhere in the title. Seriously, what’s with that?