If you agreed to go to a movie called "Abraham Lincoln", you might expect a historical drama telling you about the life of the great US president, Abraham Lincoln and how he steered the country through the American civil war. Such a movie would likely explain why Lincoln deserves to be enshrined on the US penny.
If you agreed to go to a movie called "Vampire Hunter", you would probably expect to see a horror/action movie about a guy who hunts the bloodsucking undead. Or a B-movie with a crazy low budget...
But, if you agree to go to a movie called "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", what do you expect to see? I would expect to see a ridiculous movie with a crazy premise, stupid action action sequences and something that doesn't take itself seriously. Well, Benjy and I went to check out just such a movie last night...and I must say that I got exactly what I expected.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter's source material is a novel of the same name written by Seth Grahame-Smith. The story interweaves historical facts about the life of Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War with the idea that he is actually a vampire hunter seeking vengeance for the death of his mother at the hands (fangs) of a vampire. As the movie progresses, we discover that vampires have established themselves as plantation owners in the southern US and that slavery is actually a means for them to have fresh blood to feast on. Ultimately, the climax is centered around the American Civil War as the fighters from the north (led by now president Lincoln) are waging war against the vampires from the south to prevent the undead from enslaving the entire United States.
...Of course that's the plot...what else would you expect from a movie called "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"?...If you thought this was going to be a thought provoking masterpiece, then you should read the title again: ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER! You'd better know this movie is going to be ridiculous!
So without spoiling anything else, I will just say that this movie is all kinds of FUN! It is by no means a perfect movie and it does slow down in the middle while Lincoln pursues his political ambitions. However, it has enough cringe inducing moments for a horror movie, a fun and unique story line that somehow manages to seem believable (in a horror-fiction-movie kind of way) and plenty of eye-popping action sequences and special effects to please everyone. There are two action sequences in particular that really stand out: one that happens in the midst of a stampede of horses and the other that happens on a careening train going over a burning bridge. Both of these are heavy on the CG, quick camera cuts and spewing blood...and they both end with moments that made me want to pump my fist and yell "YEAH...that's AWESOME!". Add in some of the best usage of 3D I have seen and you have a great way to waste an evening at the movie theater.
That's what this movie is...a tremendously great way to waste a couple of hours. If you feel that you need to be challenged by a movie and have it be poignant and engaging...then you will be very disappointed (and you need to read movie titles more carefully). But if you enjoy mindless movies (and you probably do if you are reading this blog) then this movie delivers!
Four silver tipped Ambraham Lincoln vampire axes out of five headless vampires...that sounds about right...
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