Movember

The Lord said “The Men shall not shave their beards for a period of 30 days, and they shall celebrate their facial hair. And it shall be called Movember”

2 Confusions 3:12.

There comes a time in a young man’s life (a bit after the onset of puberty) when he discovers bits of hair on his upper lip. He is extremely proud of this ‘moustache’ if it can be called that. Everyone else is disgusted, except his parents, who remind him gently that he should shave. Once it becomes unavoidable, he gingerly takes hold of the razor his mom bought him and wonders “Why on earth would I want this sharp implement anywhere near my face?” Or if they are emo “Wouldn’t this be more at home near my wrists?” (yes, I went there. That joke was so tasteless, it could be Evan-ian).

Eventually, he manages to shave of that lip hair he defiantly called a moustache, and as he gets older, settles into a routine of shaving. For some, it’s everyday. For some, it’s a few times a week. For some, it’s only a trim every month and a half or so. Sometimes it’s once a year, whether they need it or not. Some go without entirely, and grow up to be ZZ Top.

Because some men have facial hair, and some men are in movies, it’s inevitable that there will appear men with facial hair in movies. And while this can be awesome (Zach Galafianakis for the full beard, Robert Downey Jr in Iron Man for the immaculate trim), it’s most often used to help characterize the person.

For instance, the full beard is used to show manly men, or outdoors-y type men, or cavemen (not necessarily just a stereotype). Just a moustache (and a bad one at that) tends to be reserved for the adult film industry. Most other people don’t have it for fear of association, the same as the clipped moustache that Hitler wore (you’ll notice it was also worn by Charlie Chaplin).

The Goatee (particularly black) is worn by evil people. In fact, if you’re ruling a nation, and one of your advisors is bald with a black goatee, he is plotting to overthrow you. You might want to have him executed, provided he hasn’t already turned the guards against you.

When the Goatee is not worn by evil people, it is worn by young, hip, urban professionals who want to show how sophisticated they are. This is not always a stereotype. While they aren’t bad people, often the story is told from the point of view that being urban and sophisticated is worse than simple and rural. So yeah.

Villains tend to go with the long moustache, with ends they can twirl while they look over their evil plan. Snidely Whiplash is one of the better known examples. Lampshaded by Simon Tam in an episode of Firefly, after he plans and executes a heist with the rest of the team, and contemplates growing a moustache.

The Horseshoe (I had to look on Wikipedia, because I often get it confused with a Fu Manch) is often combined with a leather jacket to denote bikers, possibly a non-copyright-infringing Hell’s Angels knockoff (“We are the Heck’s Seraphim, and we’re going to administer a beatdown, if you’re willing. If not, it’s cool”).

The Thin and Long beard is often used to portray wise characters, mostly Asian. Almost all Gurus will have it, and will teach the protagonist all sorts of butt-kicking. You can find examples in Kill Bill Vol. 2, and Avatar: the Last Airbender.

Muttonchops are used for pretty much every period piece (Pride and Prejudice), although they experience a brief resurgence when Hugh Jackman sported them for his role as Wolverine in the X-Men movie. They died again when men everywhere realized they just aren't manly enough to pull it off.

Growing the Beard is a completely different phenomenon, and I encourage you to read all about it.