The Green Lantern

This blog is one year old. Instead of making a post about how proud I am to have done this (I'm slightly proud, but more stupefied I've lasted this long), or going to see a magnificent movie (that's next week - Transformers 3), we went to see The Green Lantern instead.

I got all the previews. Well, we both called the first preview before the pre-show show ended, so I guess that one doesn't count (it was Transformers 3). But I got Cowboys & Aliens, Moneyball (not on our list), and Horrible Bosses. It's a new preview for Evan, and he thought it belonged on our list due to the final exchange. The 3 protagonists are in a police interrogation room, being questioned by a surly officer. "Why were you doing 51 mph in a 20 zone?" he demands. Jason Bateman, not wanting to reveal he was trying to kill his boss, says "I was drag racing." "In a Prius?" "... I don't win a lot." I'm not sold, but Evan is. And it was a pretty good trailer.

The movie itself started off in deep space, with a narrator (is that Anthony Hopkins? No, just a sound-alike) explaining the backstory to the comics and giving exposition. Eons ago, a race of immortals harnessed the most powerful force in the universe - Stupidity. No wait, Willpower. Sorry. They used this energy to police the universe and stop all kinds of threats. They force was called the Green Lantern Corps, and is 3600 members strong. Which seems rather tiny compared to the 10^22 stars in the known universe. Either the green Lanterns only come out for really big threats, or they're really terrible at their jobs.

Anyway, along comes a being called Parallax, who feeds on fear. It's the opposite of will, you see. Actually, I quite liked that. In the comics, The Green Lanterns' only weakness is the colour yellow. In this movie, they metaphored it, so yellow stands in for fear. Now their only weakness is fear. So they can also make some speeches about how the only thing to fear is fear itself, or some other things. It might not be deep, but it's meaningful if you're willing to go there.

Anyway, Parallax was eventually defeated and imprisoned on The Lost Planet, in The Lost Sector, or something like that. Sometime later, three aliens crash landed on that planet ("Sir, I'm afraid the malfunction is plot-related. There's no way to fix it." "Pray to the script-writer, number one. Only he can save us now.") While exploring, they fell into a massive sinkhole where Parallax was kept. He sucked out their souls (I think it's supposed to be their fear, but it's pretty much the same thing that Shang Tsung did in Mortal Kombat) and used that power to free himself. Now he roams the spaceways, looking for trouble. Just kidding. Actually, he goes looking for revenge, trying to kill the one Green Lantern (Abin Sur) who defeated him. He manages to find Abin Sur and mortally wound him. The Green Lantern flings himself into an escape pod and send himself hurtling to Earth.

Meanwhile, on that lovely blue planet we call home, Hal Jordan wakes up next to a beautiful blonde in bed. His joy is short-lived when he remembers he's late. Driving the General Lee (okay, it wasn't the General Lee, but it was an orange Dodge Charger that Hal drove like the Dukes of Hazzard) to an airbase, he hurriedly dons his pilot suit while engaging in acrimonious banter with the other pilot, who may as well be wearing the nametag "Love Interest." She's played by Blake Lively, though, so that was nice.

They're test pilots. Today, their test is against advanced pilotless jet fighters. The AI's take down Blake Lively, but Hal breaks the rules of engagement (by climbing above the engagement window) and takes them out when they all stall. Unfortunately, he flashes back to his father's death, who died in a failed test flight. The memories overwhelm him and he can't pull out in time. He ejects, but the plane is lost. He's first fired, the quits, then is grounded.

Anyway, he goes to his nephew's birthday party. It's a good thing the news is playing a piece about the test flight. Otherwise the party guests wouldn't know how much danger Hal was in. Really? Is the news these days so scarce they're resorting to test flights?

As Hal is walking to his car after the party, he's encased in a green sphere and flown to the crashed Green Lantern. Hal tries to help (how do you do CPR on an alien?) but Abin Sur soon dies. But not before bequeathing the ring to Hal, along with his actual green lantern. The alien tells Hal to put on the ring and take the oath.

Anyway, adventures soon start. Hal is mentally told the Oath by the ring, and he's brought to Oa, the home planet of the Lantern Corps. He's trained, but the other aliens look down on him because he's human. The Head Lantern (who was mentored by Abin Sur) gives his frank opinion of Hal's abilities (basically, them and 75 cents will get you a cup of coffee) and so Hal quits, despondently going back to Earth.

Soon he's fighting crime when he realizes it might hurt Love Interest. He's also up against one of his acquaintances who's been infected by some of Parallax's energy when he did an autopsy on Abin Sur. Eventually, Parallax comes to Earth and Hal must come to terms with his own fear and fight.

I liked it. I don't think many other people did. Evan was pretty much dreading the movie (which makes it seem almost cruel that it was his turn to pay). Sure, there were more than a few lines that fell flat, but there were also some great ones as well.

The special effects are pretty good, but that's what happens when the budget is $200 million. The Ring granted to all Green Lanterns gives the user the power to create anything in their imagination, so there were cool things, all coloured green. I liked that effect because most were slightly translucent, so they gave off the half-real/half-imagination vibe. The music I didn't notice that much, except for the theme, which is decent.

Now, what I didn't like - besides the aforementioned lines and organizational nightmare it would be to oversee a universe with only 3600 cops, there was a definite lack of imagination. It might be from the comics, but it's a problem I see in movies like this, or other ones with telekinesis. Does no one think of strokes? No heart attacks, no brain aneurysms, no air embolisms, no crushed lungs? Even in a beloved property like Star Wars, why do no Jedi think to crush blood vessels in a brain? Surely that's easier than trying to hurl landspeeders at someone. Or hacking at them with a (admittedly awesomely-cool) sword made of pure energy. In the Green Lantern, why did no one think of black holes, or atomic bombs? Really, the only weapons we had were fairly standard.

Besides that, Ryan Reynolds was funny. But he had this constant tilt to his head. Like he couldn't look at someone straight. It was just a few degrees, but it threw me off the entire movie. It wasn't just one scene. It kept showing up. Does his magic suit cause neck cricks? I don't know.

Also, there’s the problem that any space movies have when they centre around humans. That is, why is our insignificant planet so significant? It’s one of the reasons I can’t get into Doctor Who. A master of time and space, with a fantastic spaceship, and he always hangs around Earth. Does he have some weird hang up? An Earthling fetish? I don’t know. Anyway, the same thing will end up happening to The Green Lantern movies (if a sequel ever happens). If Hal Jordan has billions of stars to patrol, why does the evil always happen on Earth? And it has to happen on Earth, because the audience won’t care if some Evil is threatening the inhabitants of GD-66, even if it is relatively close to us.

Anyway, this (like many before it) is a Blu Ray movie for me. There's just enough action and comedy for me to like. I'm sure other's will hate it (with good reason), but not me. It might be I'm partial to Ryan Reynolds, or Blade Lively, or that fact that finally, a movie acknowledge the improbability of ridiculously humanoid aliens.