Transformers Mega(tron) Review

Transformers 3 opened on July 29 in Canada. I'm not sure about the rest of the world. Frankly, it's a little inconvenient since so many of my friends had things going on. I've basically had to bribe people with free tickets to come. Not that I'm complaining, because ... Come on, Giant Robots! To prepare, I watched the first two movies. Evan couldn't make it over for the viewing, which is too bad, because sometimes it's nice to bounce jokes off of (everything sounds wittier in my head). I didn't watch the Transformers Movie from 1986, because I didn't want to kill my childhood. I'm just kidding - I never really watched the cartoons as a kid. We were more into Wonderstruck or Bill Nye the Science Guy. We may not have been the most pop-culture relevant kids, but we knew that fried worms were high in Vitamin C, dammit.

Transformers

Transformer opens with the Dreamworks and Paramount logos. I like when movies add their own sounds effects to familiar logos. I can't look at the New Line logo without “Mortal Kombat" being shouted in my head. New Line made those movies. It's a little jarring since they also made the Lord of the Rings movies (which also contained quite a bit of mortal combat, but no fighting tournaments and cheesy bad guys - okay, there were cheesy bad guys). Anyway, we get a brief introduction to The Cube (not the movie, the All-Spark) which is a cube (surprise!) that has the capacity to create life. Unharmed after crashing into an asteroid, it's redirected to Earth, where the Transformers logo pops up.

Then we cut to the deserts of Qatar, and the fist introduction. We get to meet Lennox (Josh Duhamel), Epps (Tyrese Gibson), and their special ops team of extras (they're not all extras - some of them get lines). They're coming back from a(nother) mission, and reminiscing about home (Warning! Foreshadowing Alert!) They land at the base, and Lennox chats with his wife over the webcam. He has a baby girl who was born while he was over here (Warning! Cliche Alert!) Meanwhile, a rogue Blackhawk helicopter enters the airspace around the base. After ignoring the warnings to leave, it gets escorted to the base by watchful jets. Instead of having its (holographic) crew step out, it transforms! Awesome! And starts ripping the base a new one. Weapons don't seem to have any effect on it. It goes to the command post (leaving destruction in its wake), peels off the roof, and hacks into the server. The commander, who keeps a cool head on his shoulders at all times, cuts the line to the server. Now the robot (a Decepticon) is pissed and rampages around. Epps manages to get a good shot of it through some nifty glasses / binoculars / optical scanners, and then Lennox's team books it out of there with their local kid / team pet / mascot in tow.

Next, we get to meet Sam Witwicky (Shia Labeouf). He's busy giving a report in high school on his great-great-grandfather, who was one of the first people to sail into the Arctic circle. Sam's also trying to sell his grandfather's things to his classmates to raise money for a car. Once class ends (and he bargains his grade up to an A-minus) he meets his dad, who has promised to pay for half the car if Sam can get good enough grades. After faking him out at a Porsche dealership (Ha!) they go to an incredibly seedy looking used-car dealership, operated by Bernie Mac (RIP). Bumblebee (an Autobot) drives onto the lot surreptitiously, and finally gets bought by Sam.

Finally, we meet the Government/NSA team. The Defence Secretary (Jon Voight, slumming it) talks to an auditorium full of NSA staff about the attempted hack. We zoom in on a team of four young people (pretty much just out of college) who will be our tertiary protagonists.

Sam, with his new car, tries to hang out with the cool kids from school. It does not go well. Mikaela, an "evil jock concubine" gets into a tiff with her arrogant jerkass boyfriend and decides to walk home, so Sam takes the opportunity to drive her home. Embarrassing moments and some swift talking by Sam ensue.

Meanwhile, back at the NSA facility, our tertiary protagonists are doing computer stuff (Quick! Type really fast! That's hacking, isn't it?) when Maggie (the only girl on the team) overhears the signal again. Someone's hacking the mainframe on Air Force One! Warnings, Alerts, Military Action! Some agents discover the perpetrator - a spindly robot that can transform into a stereo - but it kills them. Finally the NSA shuts down all the hardlines, and the hacker is again defeated. But not before getting some information on Project Iceman, and uploading a virus.

Sam gets home that night, only for his car to be stolen. "No no no no no no no no no!" he shouts (he does this a lot) as he finds his bike and follows. He trails the car to a railyard, where he sees his car transform into a humanoid robot and send a signal into space. He tries to look closer, but gets chased by the dogs guarding the railyard. He flees, and is saved by his car, now back in car form. Sam is freaked out, and throws the keys at his sentient vehicle. Luckily, the police show up, but Sam's arrested (and with tales of cars standing up, it's no wonder). He's bailed out by his dad, who takes him home.

Back at home, who (or maybe what) should show up but his car. Sam takes off on his mother's bike, with his car chasing him this time. He crashes in front of Mikaela, who hops on her Vespa and tails them, trying to figure out what's going on. At a junkyard this time, Sam is again accosted by the cops. These aren't good cops, though, it's a Decepticon. It transforms into a robot and terrorizes Sam, asking about his ebay page. Sam has the good sense to flee from a giant evil robot ("No no no no no no no no no"). Unfortunately, Mikaela chooses this moment to show up and see what’s was going on. Sam tackles her off her Vespa, possibly saving her life from the robot chasing him, and they're both saved by the timely arrival of his car. They get in and a chase ensues (set to some pretty awesome music by The Used). They arrive at a refinery of some sort (this town has everything!) where Sam's car politely throws them out, before transforming to take on the police car. Sam and Mikaela are instead chased on foot by the stereo Decepticon. Mikaela manages to take its head off with a saw of some sort, and Sam’s car wins his fight. After explaining that he's an alien (instead of a super-advanced Japanese robot, as Sam originally suspected), his car invites them for a ride to meet his compatriots.

The rest of the Autobots arrive via meteor and take the form of vehicles around them, finally meeting up in an alley. Optimus Prime introduces himself and his team - Jazz, Ironhide, Ratchet, and Bumblebee, who's been Sam protector. After telling their backstory (Planet got taken over, blah blah blah), Optimus explains Sam's great-great-grandfather's glasses have been etched with the coordinates of the All-Spark, which the Autobots need to find before the Decepticons, who will use it to give life to Earth's technology and use that to enslave/kill/destroy the universe.

Meanwhile, Maggie (remember her? NSA girl?) takes a copy of the hacking signal and goes to her friend Glen (played by Anthony Anderson), who's the best hacker on the planet (if a little childish). They've just taken a peak at it when they're arrested by the FBI, who tracked the copy to their location. They're taken to a windowless room and left to wait.

Sam, Mikaela, and the Autobots go back to Sam's house to try to find the glasses, all without Sam's parents finding out. Silly moments ensue, but they do manage to find the glasses, at the same time that Sector Seven comes knocking (not literally. They ring the bell). Sector 7 is a secret government agency that arrests Sam and Mikaela on charges of suspected contact with extra terrestrials. In Sector 7's defence, they're totally right. Luckily for the kids, the Autobots rescue them, but not before the rest of sector 7 is called in to help. Soldier converge, Sam and Mikaela almost die but are rescued by Bumblebee, who's captured (along with Sam and Mikaela), but the other Autobots escape. With all this going on, the Defence Secretary decides to grab Maggie and Glen, taking them to be his advisors. The helicopter also has Sam and Mikaela. Finally, Lennox and his team are sent in as well. They're all taken to the Hoover Dam, where Megatron (leader of the Decepticons) is frozen, and has been that way since the 1930's. They also have the All-Spark. They demonstrate its life-giving power, but unfortunately, the Decepticons now know where it is, and converge there.

Sam tells everyone what's going on Alien-war-wise, and convinces sector 7 to let Bumblebee go, as he will know what to do with the All-Spark. Lennox and his team arm themselves and everyone (save a few) goes to Mission City to extract the cube, which has been shrunk to convenient hand-carrying size (it used to be maybe 500m on a side). Megatron awakens after his freezing process is disrupted. He and the other Decepticons chase after the Cube, and a giant battle between giant robots (and some military people) ensues. Many explosions, gunshots, metal fistfights, and explosions later, Sam (who has been holding the cube) forces it into Megatron's chest, where it overloads and kills him. The world is safe, thanks to robots and Michael Bay!

I love this movie. Its such a theatre movie. The action is great. The jokes are great. The music is great. The supporting characters are great (Sam's parents in particular are hilarious). Are there plot holes? Of course! Are you watching this movie for the plot? Of course not! What kind of dolt are you?!?

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Like the previous movie, there are sound effects during the company logos (Yay). And like the last movie, there's a short narrated opening sequence. This time, it explains that humans and Cybertronians met long ago in northern Africa. Egypt or thereabouts. The primitive humans get the snot kicked out of them by an evil being called The Fallen. Then we get the Transformers logo.

We cut to China, present day, where many people are being evacuated due to a "Gas Leak." It's actually a Decepticon that's hiding there, only the NEST team has found out (NEST is a group that combines Lennox's team from the previous movie with Autobots, some new, some old) and are here to put it down. They creep closer until the Decepticon senses them, and suddenly it's growing huge and fleeing. Bad news. The three story high robot starts rolling through heavily populated China, and it's time to bring in Optimus Prime, before things get even more out of hand. Also, there's a smaller Decepticon. It's chased by the RC twins, and by 3 motorcycle Autobots that can combine into one robot (the only female robot). It's finally taken out by Volt, an Autobot that transforms into Product Placement. Oh whoops, sorry. It's a fairly obvious advertisement for an electric car. Optimus manages to bring down the behemoth, but not before it delivers a warning: "The Fallen shall rise again."

On a different continent, we meet Sam again. He's getting ready for university, and his mom's having a hard time letting go. His father, not so much ("I got an idea for your room, and it rhymes with Home Theatre"). Mikaela calls and tries to break up with Sam, but they like each other too much for that to actually happen. He tells her about a long-distance relationship kit he made for her, and she promises to come over to say good-bye. He packs his old shirt into the kit, and what should fall out but a sliver of the All-spark. It zaps him when he picks it up, and then it falls through his floor, starting a fire. It lands in the kitchen, giving life to blenders, cuisinarts, and a cranky garburator. The kitchen appliances sneak up the stairs and down the hallway before busting into Sam's room. He's put out the fire, but jumps out of his window when faced with the dangerous (if small) monsters. They've also managed to find some gunpowder, because they're firing missiles and bullets at Sam and his dad, who are huddle behind the fountain in the backyard. Sam shouts for Bumblebee, who bursts out of the garage and takes overkill to a whole new level against the critters.

They die, but Sam's mom is LIVID. Dad manages to calm her down by promising the government will pay for a remodelling (with a pool and a hot tub), while Sam goes to talk to Bumblebee, who has been grounded back to the garage. While Mikaela waits outside, Sam gently explains he isn't allowed a car at college. Bumblebee can go back to helping out the other Autobots, but that's not what he wants. He bursts into tears ... well, windshield wiper fluid while Sam breaks the news. Sam tells him he loves him, then goes outside to say good-bye to Mikaela. He likes her a lot, and she asks for it, but he can't bring himself to say the L-word (Legs? Lesbian? Loquacious? No, Love. Whoops).

Back at the NEST base, the team is being debriefed when they're interrupted by an Obstructive Bureaucrat named Galloway. Holy Hell is he obstructive (and disruptive, but that's just a bonus). Galloway lets slip the location of the last piece of the All-Spark (not the one Sam had) - it's in a secure American military facility. Too bad for them that Soundwave is floating up in space, physically hacking into military satellites. He dispatches some minions to capture the shard. They do in the form of hundreds of ball bearings, which drop down the air intake before coalescing into an incredibly thin Decepticon that looks to be made entirely from knives. It breaks the case holding the All-spark and makes off with it, sometimes by going through soldiers.

Sam has given Mikaela the shard he has, and sets off for college. He meets his roommate Leo, who seems fairly normal for about 3 seconds, before revealing he's the creator of a conspiracy webpage. Sam, wary of one too many government warnings about disclosing his relationship with the Autobots, doesn't get along well with that. But school rules preclude switching rooms (what kind of school does that? That's just stupid). His parents come in, and his mother has supported a bake sale. Of ‘special brownies’. Totally high, she humiliates Sam before his father can pack her away. Sam also gets to meet Alice, who takes Maggie's place has the hot blonde minor character. She seems to have a fetish for Sam.

That night Sam, Leo, and his crew (two more conspiracy nuts) go to their first frat party. Alice tries to come on to Sam while he's busy writing mysterious symbols on the table with icing (don't ask). He tries to rebuff her, but the party's broken up when a Camaro (Bumblebee) is found parked on the lawn. Sam gets in, and Alice slides into the passenger seat. Sam's nervous (Bumblebee isn't really helping with the radio song selection), until Bumblebee leaks lubricant (basically pees) all over Alice. She finally gets out, while Bumblebee takes Sam to meet Optimus. Optimus asks for his help, but Sam just wants to be a normal kid.

He goes back to school, but starts freaking out in his Atronomy 101 class (taught by a professor played by Rainn Wilson, taking over the Bernie Mac role of sitcom star making a cameo). He reads through the whole book in half a minute and then tries to explain to the class about energy in different dimensions. The professor kicks him out. He calls Mikaela and reminds her his great-great-grandfather went insane, and now it's starting to happen to him - ever since he touched the All-Spark shard, he realizes. Meanwhile, a tiny Decepticon name Wheeley tries to break into Mikaela's safe, but she's quick enough to trap him and throw him into a box. She tells Sam she'll fly out right away.

Sam goes to his dorm room and tries to get the symbols out of his head by writing them down on any available purpose (including a Bad Boys II poster - snigger). After a while, he's interrupted by his roommate and Alice, who've just walked in. Alice shoves Leo out of the room, closes the door, and throws herself at Sam. If the genders were reversed, it would totally be sexual assault (oh - hai, double standard). She tosses him onto the bed and crawls on top. They just start making out when Mikaela walks in. Disgusted, she promptly turn around and walks out. Sam scrambles to go after her, but Alice starts choking him with her tongue, which is now 6 feet long and metallic! Mikaela turns back around when she hears the struggle, opens the door, and throws her box at Alice when she figures out what's going on.

Sam, Mikaela, and Leo flee to the library. Mikaela's mad at Sam, and Sam is trying to give Mikaela the silent treatment for being mad at him when he's the victim ("her tongue was all diesely"). Alice storms inside, in full Decepticon glory (metal, shiny, evil). Many shelves of books and paper explode around the three heroes, and they escape through a whole in the wall. Mikaela hotwires a car and they grab the box with Wheeley in it. Alice jumps on the good of their car and tries to attack them with her tongue (seriously, that thing is just freaky!) before Mikaela slams the car into a lamppost, killing Alice.

They're in the midst of driving off when the car is speared by a helicopter and brought to an abandoned warehouse. Megatron (resurrected by the stolen shard and back from a trip to his master) holds Sam down while a microscope transformer inspects him. Then they pull out a small scorpion bug thing and shove it in Sam's mouth, where its tentacles reach into his brain and record the symbols that have been driving him mad. Apparently they're a map to a source of Energon (Energeon?) which will prevent the Decepticons (and probably the Autobots too) from aging and dying. It's basically a fountain of (robotic) youth. The map's imprinted on Sam's brain, so they'll just remove it and be on their way.

Just before they cut Sam's head open, Optimus Prime and Bumblebee crash in through the ceiling and rescue Sam. He takes off with Optimus while Mikaela and Leo climb into Bumblebee. The Decepticons race after Optimus, who eventually turns and fights, instructing Sam to run. Heroically, Optimus faces down three robots by himself and kills one, before Megatron slices through his chest. His death allows The Fallen to return to Earth, because only a Prime can defeat him. The Fallen broadcasts the Transformers presence to the Earth and demands they turn Sam over to him, or he and his minions will wreak havoc wherever they choose.

Sam's going to turn himself in when he gets the idea to see what all the symbols in his head mean. They go to former agent Simmons (now a falafel dealer), who in turn leads them to Jetfire, an ancient Decepticon who changed sides to the Autobots and is now residing at the Smithsonian (I think. It may have been a different aeronautical museum). He's revived by the shard the Sam and Mikaela have. He wakes up confused and cranky, basically like every old man on a sitcom. He transports them to Egypt and tells more backstory. Several millennia ago, The Fallen built a machine on Earth that would harvest Energon from the Sun, which would have the side-effect of destroying the sun. The other Primes said "you don't get to kill planets with life on it" and locked the key to the machine (the Matrix of Leadership) away in a tomb composed of their own bodies. Now Sam's team has to find the tomb before The Fallen.

They put in a call to Lennox (who has retrieved Optimus' body) and tell him what's going on and ask for help. Lennox and his team travel to Egypt and set up a perimeter around Optimus. The symbols in Sam's head (with Jetfire's translation) lead to the Pyramids, then onto Petra, where they do discover the Matrix, only for it dissolves to dust. Sam doesn't give up, though, gathering up the dust and heading out to Lennox's location.

Unfortunately, Starscream also finds them, and they wind up being chased into a construction site. Simmons, Leo, and the RC twins provide a distraction, while Sam and Mikaela make for the military. They nearly get there when they're ambushed by Decepticons. The military is also nearly overrun, and the distraction team is assaulted by a team of constructors. They've combined into a massive robot named Devastator, which intends to kill them and destroy the pyramids, freeing the Energon harvesting machine within. After a helicopter crash of incoming reinforcements, Simmons takes one of their radios while Leo helps the injured. Simmons manages to talk the commander of a nearby battleship into firing an experimental rail gun at Devastator, taking out the robot, but not before the harvester is partially uncovered.

Meanwhile, the military is fighting for their lives, and Sam and Mikaela finally manage to get there. They race to Optimus, but Megatron manages one last barrage, and Sam in killed. Slow-motion shots of CPR, rescue helicopters, and a defibrillator follow, until Mikaela finally admits he can't leave her since she loves him. Sam, while dead, has his spirit brought before the Primes. They bestow the reformed Matrix of Leadership on him, and he awakens. He stumbles to Optimus and stabs the matrix deep into Optimus' chest.

Optimus awakes, but The Fallen steals the Matrix and teleports to the harvester, powering it up. Jetfire sacrifices himself to give Optimus more power, and the final beatdown is on. Newly armed with jets, Optimus follows The Fallen and puts a bullet through the harvester, forever ending its threat. He and The Fallen engage in some nice metal combat before Optimus finally tears off his face (wicked!) Afterwards, Sam tells Mikaela he loves her (but only because she said it first). Optimus thanks Sam, and he thanks Optimus. Everything's all good, and the credits even show Sam back at university.

I liked this movie too. Not many other people did. The action's bigger than the last time, and the score's even better (though the soundtrack's worse). The jokes are a little more tired and sometimes more crude. A lot of people hated the RC twins and thought they were racist, but I laughed. If they had been southerners instead of wiggers, everyone would have been fine (oh hai, double standard ... again. It's nice to see you're not just gender-related). People from Texas or Arkansas that can't read are fine to make fun of. But white people pretending to be black people? Nooooooo. Look, illiteracy probably shouldn't be mocked at all, but if you're going to cross a line, why are some lines acceptable and some not? You're still making fun of people who had no choice of their circumstances.

Anyway, besides that, there were some complaints about a lack of heart, but I thought Optimus' sacrifice and Sam's death were much more emotional than anything in the first movie. So yeah, I can see a bit why people don't like it as much, but not the intense hate it has. It's like some person didn't like it, so the next person had to hate it, so the next person had to loathe it, so the next person had to detest it, and it all spiralled down from there. People, just admit it wasn't your cup of tea and move on. For me, I'll go back to this theatre movie for seconds.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

This is a good week for me. Not only did I get to see Transformers: Dark of the Moon on opening night with a group of friends, but the CFL also kicks off this week, and I've been craving football action since the Superbowl (I follow both the CFL and the NFL). Plus, Friday's a holiday in Canada, so that's just the cherry on top.

There weren't that many previews beforehand. I got Moneyball and Captain America, and Brady managed to get Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I was sitting too far from Evan to tell if I beat him, though. None of the previews were in 3D, so after we got an introduction to the theatre itself (it's probably the most advanced theatre in the city, so it needs a special intro, just like an IMAX), we got a message to put on our glasses. That message, plus the Dolby logo, got me used to the extra dimension. So by the time the movie started, I was good to go.

And the movie started well. It opened on Cybertron, with the final days of a war that would leave the planet a dying husk, a mess of twisted girders and rusted construction. The Autobots are outmanned and outgunned, so they put their final hope in a spaceship and send it off. It's pursued in a pretty cool sequence that really makes me itch for Star Wars in 3D (Flying through the Death Star in 3D? Yes please!) before it's severely damaged. It manages to cross the galaxy (or universe, or something) and crash into the moon.

Then we cut to JFK making speeches about putting a man on the moon. He's been given information about the crash on the moon, and now there's a conspiracy to find it. Yes, the space race was all about finding alien spacecraft (which is actually a pretty cool angle). After the Eagle lands on the moon and Neil Armstrong utters his immortal line, there's a 'communication error' and the two astronauts are free to explore the downed craft with no witnesses. It's too big to explore completely, but they do get some good details.

Then we cut to the present day. Since no Decepticons seem to be around, the Autobots are used to keep the peace between humans on Earth. This mainly seems to be (violently) shutting down secret nuclear programs (None of them American, I noticed). Lennox and some other NEST members (including Optimus) get sent to Chernobyl, to investigate something a Russian contact told them about. They suit up and head underground, where they find a chunk of metal a bit bigger than a basketball that's giving off Energon readings. Extra-terrestrial indeed, but why's it in Russia? They don't get the chance to figure that out, as they're attacked by Shockwave. Shockwave's a Decepticon that rides a metallic worm that's either the worst nightmare of any Hentai girl, or a cool homage to Dune. Shockwave or the tentacle monster grab the Energon source, but the NEST team follows them up to the surface, where Optimus hacks off the appendage holding it (which is cool, but it was brought up to me afterwards that if this movie had had humans in the place of robots, it would have been rated R or 18A. It has some incredibly graphic robot-on-robot violence). It turns out it's an engine part from the spaceship on the moon. How did the Russians get it?

While that is going on, we get to meet Sam (yet again), who's living with his new girlfriend (Carly) in her apartment. He doesn't have much money because he doesn't have a job, despite saving the world twice (and getting a medal from Obama out of it) and having an Ivy-League degree. He also has two small transformers (Wheeley from the second movie and a similar partner in crime) who get the bulk of the comic relief load. Sam goes on a series of interviews while his parents alternately encourage and discourage him (yes, they're back, and yes, they're embarrassing). He eventually gets hired after giving a completely straight and honest answer ("I've saved your life twice. I can't give you details or anything, but I've done S--- that matters. I just want to do something that matters.") as he's leaving, so now he's the mailroom clerk in a company run by John Malkovich.

The movie starts to take off when Sam is confronted by a coworker who gives him evidence of renewed Decepticon activity. He's all anxious to share it with the government, but the new director of national intelligence doesn't really want advice from a wet-behind-the-ears graduate. He eventually calls in Simmons (who's gotten rich off of writing a tell-all book), and they get to work cracking the mystery, all while Sam is getting more and more jealous of Carly's boss, who's played by Patrick Dempsey, but doesn't excuse the fact that he seems to have a bit of an inappropriate attitude towards Carly.

More things blow up, evidence is uncovered of human in league with Decepticons, a large betrayal takes place, Carly gets kidnapped to ensure Sam's reluctant cooperation, and he eventually goes after her. Oh, and the Autobots are forced to leave Earth because humans are stupid and fearful. We don't negotiate with terrorists, unless they're giant alien robots with superior firepower. In which case they're not terrorists, they're terrifying giant alien robots with superior firepower, and we had best obey or get the snot blown out of us.

Initially, I was a little disappointed in this movie action-wise. I wish they had it more consistently throughout the movie. There's not a lot near the beginning. There's the scene in Chernobyl. There's a cool scene on a highway when Sam and Simmons race back to NEST to explain what they've uncovered. There's a rampage through the NEST base. And there's the climax. The climax is fairly lengthly, but it's broken up by a lot of shots of people and robots sneaking around. It's not consistent action like, say, the Expendables, but it does feature giant robots. It also has a climactic battle between the Big Good and the Big Bad, and someone else as well. Carly's a step down from Mikaela, but not terrible. I don't think Megan Fox was really appreciated appropriately, but maybe we automatically assume that anyone that sexy can't act, so we tend to ignore it when they do. Anyway, Carly's played by a model, which means people expect the same thing. Need I remind you that both Rene Russo and Milla Jovovich were both models before they got into acting? Seemed to work out, both for them and for the audience. So don't knock it. Sure, she may not be Judy Dench level, but she' better than cardboard and more than a pair of breasts. And if she is listless in a few scenes, remember that that may have been Michael Bay's choice to have her shell-shocked. She acted well when Carly and Sam have a fight.

Sam's still scared of danger, although he does a bit more screaming and a bit less "no" than I'm used to. His parents are still funny and embarrassing, and his mom is still innocently inappropriate.

The soundtrack isn't special - I sampled it last night - but I should listen to it more before I rush to judgement. The score doesn't come out for a few more days, so I won't be able to really listen to it until then. What I heard in the movie sounded great, but the released score will be different. The movie usually has shorter snippets of songs, while the official score arranges them into longer pieces. I enjoy the latter more than the former, actually, because it allows the music to be suitably heroic for longer.

The humour's pretty good. No offensive robots for everyone to mad about, just a comedy duo and a bunch of one liners. They're also Alan Tudyk as Simmon's servant, who appears to be an effeminate German former Spec Ops soldier. Funny stuff. And I have to support him since he was in Firefly.

Definitely a theatre movie. Some cheesy lines, some funny lines, plenty of special effects, a hot girl, and more than enough action to blow your mind. Plus, Optimus Prime carries around a portable armoury that's just AWESOME!