Horrible Bosses

First off, I should probably say that all my bosses have been pretty good or great, so I have very little in common with this week’s movie. Having gotten that out of the way ...

We got to the theatre early, and were surprised at how packed it was on a Monday. The movie was second in the weekend box office to a movie that's been out for a weekend already, so we thought it would be maybe half full, especially for a non-discount day (Tuesdays). The previews weren't good. The first was What's Your Number, a movie that's been getting bad buzz lately, due to the cliché storm of a trailer. The second was How Does She Do It, a movie about a single mom raising two kids (possibly by herself) and everyone wondering how she's able to be so amazing. Don't millions of parents do this already? And wow, what novelty! A movie where a woman eventually values her family more than her job. I've never seen that before! The third preview (which I got) was Crazy Stupid Love, about a man (Steve Carell) trying to put his marriage back in place after his wife cheats on him. It also has Ryan Gosling as a lothario who falls in love and has no idea how to handle it. It's like Hollywood has completely run out of ideas to recycle, and is now just mashing up clichés to film. Which leads to our fourth film, which I got on a wild guess: Final Destination 5. A guy on a bus has a vision of a bridge collapsing and leads his fellow passengers to safety seconds before the foretold event happens and kills many. Then a cameo from Tony Todd (the CIA chief from Chuck) pops up to explain that cheating death means that death will come for all of them. So we get snapshots of people dying in increasingly sadistic and painful ways. Well, we don't get to see the deaths (it's a preview), but we do get to see everything up to about 3/10 of a second before they die. Of course, the ridiculousness of this franchise was once pointed out by a critic, which I’ll paraphrase: "Why would death give a vision of how to escape it, only to go along and pick off the survivors one by one? Either Death has multiple personalities, or it's a bit of a dick." Needless to say, we're all staying as far away from all of these movies as possible. Even Crazy Stupid Love. Is a movie about infidelity really a good date movie?

The actual movie started with an introduction to each of our three protagonists as they go through part of their workday, and why they hate their bosses. Each boss eventually gets their own three word description, like Crazy Old (expletive), or (expletive) Bitchy (expletive), or even (expletive) (expletive) (EXPLETIVE).

Jason Bateman plays Nick, who's a lot like Jason Bateman in all of his movies. His boss is a control freak played by Kevin Spacey, who's been lying to Nick for months about a promotion to get Nick to work harder. "It's not lying, it's motivation."

Charlie Day plays Dale, a nervous guy who talks too much. He's also a registered sex offender due to a misunderstanding about urinating in a playground at midnight (there were no kids around): "Who puts a playground next to a bar? It's entrapment!" His boss is Jennifer Aniston, who plays a very (very) naughty sex fiend. There's no line she won't cross, and tries to blackmail Dale into sleeping with her. But Dale loves his fiancée and isn't willing to risk that.

Jason Sudeikis plays Kurt, the cool guy who hits on everything: "Speaking of entrapment, I have to see that woman about her vagina!" His boss is actually very nice, and played by … Holy Crap! It’s Donald Sutherland! I’m not sure if this is a step up or a step down from The Mechanic. Either way, it’s a step. His son is a coked up loser (played hilariously by Colin Farrell), so when Pops has a heart attack, the son takes over and tries to squeeze the company for every dime to spend on hookers and blow (preferably on a beach).

Nick and Kurt fantasize about killing their bosses, and get into a hypothetical discussion about it at their usual hangout. This makes Dale uncomfortable (even hypothetically), so he leaves. The next day at work, his boss (the sex fiend) tells him about some pictures she took while he was unconscious (during a dentistry procedure), and blackmails him. Fuming, that evening, he storms into his friend's house and says he's in. And the plot kicks off.

Initially, it does not go well. It seems they can't hire a hitman (it's not as easy as it sounds), so they wind up getting some advice from Jamie Foxx, playing a badass named Mother(expletive)er Jones, and having to do it themselves. Bungling surveillance ensues, but eventually they get some good intel ("It's short for intelligence!") that leads them to a rudimentary plan.

Things go awry, of course (it's a comedy. Things always go awry). But the ways they deal with the snags, and the crazy people around them (and make no mistake, these bosses are on the wrong side of crazy-town) are comedy gold.

I think this is probably a theatre movie. It's simply funny enough to do that. There's not a lot of action, but there's terrific performance and an awesome command of comedic timing. Plus, there's a gag reel that may be the funniest thing during the movie (so stay for the first few minutes of the credits). I'm pretty sure my stomach was sore this morning from all the laughing last night. The only caveat is that the movie is rated 14A (rated R in the States) and crosses several lines. Awesome lines, to be sure, but they are mother(expletive)ing crossed. Usually twice. In a Prius. While drag racing.